Near my desk today, I noticed one of those delightful propeller toys which was confiscated from a student; Remember those things? Little plastic propellers which would go off and fly when you pull the little plastic line. Often selling for about $2 in newspaper shops across the globe and created for the sole purpose of flying over the fence into your neighbour’s back yard.

I was lost in nostalgia upon examing the toy, my arms moving and rotating about, "Mr. Roboto"  style, swinging my head around, the golden hair of my imaginary mullet gracefullly swinging about. My attention started to shift… Which Muppet Baby should I get with my happy meal this week? I thought.. There were still a few Fozzie’s left and….

…a sharp pain in my pinky plucked me from the 1980’s and back into the present. 

So…Muppet Babies is not on this afternoon? I thought. My mood worsened.

I fingered my hair. No mullet. My mood greatly improved.

I took the sharp propeller blade out of my pinky, it was incredibly hard to the touch, not to mention sharp. I probably should have erred on the side of caution when I noticed that this propeller is set off by a giant winding knob with a button at the end.

Oh, I confiscated that from a student, remarked the Taminator. It’s a "water goods".

Water goods; It’s kind of a cantonese slang for something (usually from the mainland) often of dubious quality, and usually a pale imitation of a better (and safer) product. 

Unlike the rest of the media at the moment, I don’t instantly connect "Made in China" to mean instant doom. Let’s face it. Pretty much everything is made in China, right? 

You see, there’s Made In China, and there’s "Made In China(!)"; The latter not neccesarily ment for foreign consumption; even in Hong Kong, where I live; these coveted items are relatively scarce.

However, I work in a district quite well known for it’s new mainland immigrant population. Generally in these areas, little shops which contain these coveted trinkets spring up around the surrounding area. 

These shops generally don’t last long and with the advent of "The Link", the privatization of car parks and retail areas previously managed by the Hong Kong housing authority, means that these lovable, but admittedly, crappy little trinket shops are fast dissapearing. 

Among the "water goods" I’ve encountered (and confiscated) include:

The Palm Crossbow

An honest to goodness "palm crossbow", found in a teacher’s desk at a primary school in Daqing, North China. I’d be over the moon everytime I looked inside the coveted "draw of confiscated goods".

This little baby sold for about 20 cents and was made to fit in a rubber band for the bow string, and a little hole for placing toothpicks in. It would then fire with alarming power and accuracy.

Naturally, as a responsible teacher, I removed the item from the drawer and proceeded to play with it for weeks after.

The Hokuto No Ken Sword

Kenshiro’s too man for a sword, that’s why it was pretty apparent that these Hokuto No Ken figurines, wielding mighty Chinese-esque swords were "water goods" as soon as I layed eyes on them. 

The designers of these toys figured that while it’s impossible to give a plastic toy the powers of "Hokuto Shinken", they might as well give them the next best thing.

Those little plastic swords drew more blood than the Napoleonic and Hellenistic ages combined. Eventually, for my own safety, I put poor lil’ Kenshiro in a box.

Several years later, during renovation, I cut my leg on something as I was moving a box. The little bastard’s sword sliced right through the box, all those years later. Kenshiro still packed a punch.

The "Forse" Feedback Mouse

I was mulling at the prospect of getting a force feedback mouse for quite some time; The Logitech force feedback mouse looked infinitely appealing to me when I saw it displayed in the Causeway Bay computer plaza. The unique yet convenient design, the gorgeous shiny covering; Yes, I was going to get it. Then in the slop’  er…bargain bin (If you get that last sentence, I think I love you) I noticed the "forse feedback mouse". It had the exact same design as the logitech force feedback mouse. Furthermore, it had the EXACT SAME description; Water goods if ever I saw them. Always affectionate against blatant inferior rip-offs, I decided to buy the mouse. At ten Hong Kong dollars it wasn’t like it was a big investment. And for a force feedback mouse, no matter how crappy, that was a steal!

I opened the box and took out the mouse. The suspiciously light mouse. I plugged in that suspiciously light mouse. It worked! Hazzah!

I had no force feedback functions whatsoever and open opening the mouse, I discovered that the inside was TOTALLY EMPTY. I doubt whoever manufactured the mouse even knew what a force feedback mouse was.

It WAS a pretty decent mouse though and lived for several years. I still miss the easy to press thumb button. *sigh*